antm cycle 16 pre-show

hello lovelies! i'm sorry i've neglected word vomitness lately, but i think we can all agree that the rest of cycle 14 was among the most boring cycles EVER (i bet you're thinking, "god, who the hell even won that cycle??"), and that RHNYC just went down the tubes entirely and isn't worthy of even ironic discussion. but with much encouragement from my fan base (all four of you know who you are) and the enticing thought of a new season of starved teenage egomaniacs, how could i resist rejoining the realm of top model bitchy blogdom??

this entry will be brief, since indeed the season hasn't even started yet, and we can only judge the fourteen new contestants based on the way they have been presented in this season's promo shoot: as slutty drowned rats. see for yourself--

yech. i kinda get the gossip girl/ new york socialite influence, but really. this is supposedly another "high fashion" season, and these girls look like they came straight out of a sweaty nasty club. or maybe a foam party. regardless, not only do they look pretty cheap, but also practically indistinguishable from each other. i don't feel the need to examine every shot, since many of them are so similar, but here are some points of discussion:

bad. maybe one of the worst pre-show photos i've ever seen. could be the styling, but she really looks like an amateur... porn star.

two words: drag. queen. there's one every cycle, folks.

i read this girl is supposed to plus size. wtf, mate??

this actually looks like a fashion shot, and given the styling she had to work with, that's pretty damn impressive. this girl's name is jaclyn, and based SOLELY on these shots, i'd say that she is my pick for the win. just wait, now she'll be the first one cut!

huh? did we take the picture already? crap!

dalya is one of the few who has pre-show work floating around the web (yes, i looked) and she seems to be an early fan favorite. she comes off pretty man-ish to me, and that pose isn't doing her linebacker shoulders any favors. but girl's got some face, let's just see if she can work it.

another early fan favorite, brittani (i bet she dots that last "i" with a little star, or maybe a heart even). meh.

i'm kind of disappointed that there doesn't appear to be any really interesting or different looking contestants, especially after what a huge deal was made about ann last cycle and her unconventional beauty. i'm always rooting for the nerdy weirdos (ann ward, nicole fox, marjorie... something, heather kuzmich). but let's just see how they look in some normal clothes and all that make up scrubbed off. i'll see you february 23!!!